i've had no feeling

day by day, i felt like kinda uninterested in this life anymore. i dont know what is going on with me. i felt tired. i felt sick. of this life. sometimes i laughed n mostly i cried. the joys of life never belongs to me i thought. Kindly speaking, i'm a failure right? Frankly speaking, i'm a coward right? Hate to face the unfair world out there because when u end up becoming the good person with so much justice in ur heart, u will end up alone. in this world, u have to act, trying to force a smile to enemy, befriend with someone u don't want n just be cool toward those annoyed faces. i hate these. Almost the time, i felt so alone, fear of facing the world around me. Where do u go when the hearts are closed? when a friend becomes a stranger n nobody wants to know about u. its me. i cried solely at night. the thought of my family n friends have abandoned me is always on my mind. i don't know y but that's how i felt. i can't blurt this to anyone. i have learned. i learned a lot. thanks to all of u that i learned to trust no one. even myself. do i'm outta of my mind?