I am fragile

i love words. pondering over inspirational words whenever i was down was something like exhaling ectasy for me. I like the way the quotes, famous saying, the songs calm me whenever i thought the world is plummeting on me. Sometimes, i do feel being left out of my friends, being smirked of what i did, telling me that i am a person that not going to be appreciated ever. People are so SCARY. They tend to hurt people as they thought they are better. They head ups their butt in other jeans, yet reveal out the moles inside. They spit out their shit to others, blaming the others. To those people, maybe you are good enough to look into glassy mirror. Ruin me people, i love the way its hurt. As the scars would remind me of who you are.

It's okay as life is a tough crowd. I'm 20 and still growing up. I maybe look cynical to fit into your world and you know what i never ever want to be in those impostor-feel-good-world. I am kind of person who easily being hurt by words. But even myself couldn't help hurting others with my words. To friends, i tell you what, my words are sometimes a joke that you couldn't take but trust me i just joke with my close ones. And if it hurts you, i am really truly sorry. Maybe you don't deserve me as friend. And i could be serious with my words at a time. And most of the time, whenever i being honest with my words to you friends, you don't like it. Ok then, what friends are for. Should i be an ignorant? I am the type of person who like to listen to others comment about self. If my make up don't suit me, if my appearance really sting you, in other words, if i have something bad, TELL
ME. Friends never leave friends in the dark right? If so, how many real friends do you have?

To those who hurt me, i thank you for dumping me out from my lunchbox days

And to those friends who are on my side even when i was wrong, i thank you a lot for giving me courage to live on.

Life changes like the weather,

Time turns flames to embers,

You'll have new september,

but i hope you remember,

todays never too late to be brand new.

-taylor swift-