Assalamualaikum
I did promise before that i would only update the blog on weekend, but something happened today. My patient, xx that i did posted his complaints here, he actually has being transferred to hosp selayang. More specialists there to manage his case, which actually turned out to be something awfully terminal, for just a complaint of epigastric pain. But on lookout for his persistent vomiting and weight loss, it could reason all the findings. I did follow up his case from beginning, and frankly i say that, something like this, we the humans are helpless. For a minute we thought that we are safe and could live up for future, dreaming of everything. And for just another minute, a news could burn all down. We are that volatile. The moment that i knew he was diagnosed with liver metastases with unknown primary origin, i couldn't help myself but googling over this disease. He way too young for such a thing. I couldn't imagine how the doctor would break the news onto him, on the way how he would accept it. Even me was not that brave enough to go and talk to him about it. I waited for a day, and i went to him anyway. Couldn't find a word over it, i just asking him what the doctor already told him. He did blurt it out, and i could see that his eyes reddened. How i wish that he was a woman that i could hug and reassured him. Instead, i just remind him of how we as human should go back to basic that life that we rent is actually from Allah. From Him we come and to Him we return. I might look as i said it out loud to him, but i also reminded my soul. Somehow, being in medical field, i was sometimes speechless and shattered to see how human is fragile. Another ward round to neurosurgeon department, my heart shattered even more. You could not be happy of how healthy you are now. You should actually be grateful to Allah SWT.
" O Allah, do grant me life that benefits and suffices me in the Hereafter "
" O Allah, I seek forgiveness for every sin, I committed, about which, of course, You know inside and out, from the beginning to the end of my life, whether committed deliberately or intentionally "
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