I dont know how to put this. I dont even know how i have gone through all this while. Life has been so hard here. The discouragement they put you under, the negative remarks and oh how fast they spreading out your mistakes to the whole blocks. I never imagined these kinda of fellas exist. And i cant even brought myself back to the tagging time, so far it was the worst time. I lived in tears and fears. I dont even know how i still able to bring myself forward. But somehow deep down i know it was my loved ones' prayers to Almighty Allah that actually keep me going. I could feel it whenever i nearly fall into pieces, some warm gestures flooding into my heart like whispering me to hold on. Like everytime. MasyaAllah i could not even describe the feeling. But life neither has become easier or brighter here. Somehow i question the reason why i was here whenever i couldnt bear the pain. But i still want to believe that Allah' s plan is better. Its just i need to hold on more to this. Even i dont know if i could bear any more longer being buggers to them. So much things has happened during this 3 months. To think that friendship that went wrong just adding into my insane level. I dont know people can be so cruel onto someone that you know that long. Its not we're strangers. Its not that we cant discuss properly. To bash people so openly, i could see where this going. We said we sorry we forgot we did not approach you guys first because life was so 'peaceful' yet you decided on this. Its not we werent friends before. We dont have feelings. Were just buggers even to supposed friends. When life actually becomes so real?
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